She passed away last night.
It makes me a horrible person, but I feel a bit relieved.
Edit: Thank you all once again for all the kind words and support. To make all of you, my dear friends, worry is definitely the last thing I ever want to do.
My mom didn't work today. Dad stayed home too. She did a lot of cleaning in the house, I guess it's a kind of therapy? She acts normal: she cooked, she laughed, she watched Canadian Idol and booed, she scolded my dad for not eating enough veggie... But when she stopped, I can see the saddness in her eyes. That's what hurts me.
She decided not to go back to HongKong for the funeral.
Now she feels all of her six brothers and sisters hate her for that.
Her reason of not going back: who's going to take care of your father? who's going to help in the store?
My mom always put us as first priority. Anything else comes second. But I just cannot agree with her. Priority should be flexible, epecially in situation like this. I just can't understand how is it possible to *not* go to her own mother's funeral. I guess her six brothers and sisters don't inderstand neither. But then again, only she knows the real reason. I should not keep rubbing the wound so I won't ask. All I should do is to support whatever her decision is.
And to her six brothers and sisters: Leave her alone. You have no right to criticize her.
I've been waiting the whole day, and finally Song called from LA. I feel a lot better now.
Posted at 7/15/2004 8:48:46 am by koalajoe
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Stan
July 16, 2004 04:41 PM PDT
I'm sorry that your Grandmother passed away, but don't feel guilty about being a bit relieved. When my grandmother passed away, it took her 4 days in a hospital.
Not only was it grueling, but like your situation, her kids kept on bickering about such petty things like who was her "favorite", her estate, EVERYTHING. The sad thing was this was her last memory of her children.
Maybe it's the stress, but your mother's siblings should concentrate on remembering their mother and be less concerned about criticizing others. |
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Kathy
July 16, 2004 12:22 PM PDT
Aww... my condolences. It's hard to lose a loved one. You're not a horrible person-- you were concerned, before, so it's only natural to feel relief. Take care! |
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Caroline
July 16, 2004 07:50 AM PDT
You're a good person *hugs* |
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kenishi
July 16, 2004 07:02 AM PDT
I am so sorry for your loss, when i lost my grandmother i thought i lost my mom. She was a huge inspiration in my life and i thank her for that everyday. i am just greatful to know that she is in a better place watching over me. If there is anything i can do please feel free to ask....:) |
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pretzel
July 16, 2004 04:45 AM PDT
Sorry to hear the news PJ. :( At least she's at rest.
When my grandmother passed away my mom didn't go back to Japan for the funeral either for the same reasons you mother stated. I don't think I understood/understand how she could have not gone.... but it's her own decision ya know?
*hugs* |
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Nila
July 15, 2004 10:06 PM PDT
You're not a horrible person for feeling that way. Everyone knew it was coming and just waiting for it to happen was stressful I am sure. She is gone to a better place but will remain in your heart forever. Take care PJ, I love you and I hope your mommy and family feel better soon as well! |
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Mia
July 15, 2004 09:10 PM PDT
I'm sorry PJ.. ;-; *hugs* |
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Emi (twotone on LJ)
July 15, 2004 08:13 PM PDT
I'm very sorry for your loss... but glad that your grandmother is at rest now. I lost my grandmother this year, too... |
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Chelle
July 15, 2004 06:47 PM PDT
You are not a bad person. If being relieved because she is not suffering any more and is in a better place makes you a bad person then I wouldn't want to live in this world. I'm sorry about your grandmother. I hope your family is...especially your mother...is dealing ok with this. Feel better soon. |
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Brent
July 15, 2004 02:16 PM PDT
it doesn't make you a horrible person at all, I felt so bad for my grandma before she passed away, she was in a bed for the last 5 years of her life, I don't think she was even allowed to get out of bed, and she couldn't even talk because since no one taked to her, she just forgot. |
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miva
July 15, 2004 01:35 PM PDT
You have my condolences PJ. *huuuugs* |
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Jenny
July 15, 2004 10:57 AM PDT
*big hugs for pj* I'm sorry for your loss. It doesn't make you a horrible person at all... she's in a better place now with no pain. |
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